If you encounter any miserable gits in your life, acting like their biscuit’s been dunked one time too many, let them wallow in their own sodding negativity. Why should you be the one to slap on a fake grin and keep dancing around them like a performing monkey? Do us all a favour, chuck ’em a banana and go do something that tickles your fancy instead. Now, if you’re seeking a stroke of luck, remember, your lucky number is 13. I can hear you gasping – “Ooh, that’s unlucky!” Well, darling, with your track record, it can only get better!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!