Roll up, roll up! Listen here, you muppet. Today’s all about being savvier than a fox in a henhouse when it comes to your dosh and business malarkey. Don’t you dare sign any contracts until you’ve given them a proper butcher’s look, more than once if needs be. You might feel like you’re taking the mickey, but better safe than sorry! If you play it straight, you won’t end up in the doghouse, and you might just make it through the day without making a complete hash of it. And as for your lucky charm: it’s a pair of reading glasses, you numpty! Because apparently, you can’t tell a contract from a takeaway menu. So, slap those specs on and give it a gander before you sign your life away. It’s a right laugh, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!