Blimey, sunshine! You’re currently in a right pickle, aren’t you? Seems like you’ve got more problems than a math book, and they’re all as big as the Queen’s hat. But hold your horses, it’s not as bad as you reckon. You’re just looking at it like you’ve got a telescope turned the wrong way around. Best pull your head out of your arse and get a fresh view, yeah? Luckily, you’ve got that one mate who’s always got a pint ready and a way of making you see the silver lining. Even if it’s just the foil from a kebab at the end of the night. Your lucky escape is a taxi at 2 am. Trust me, nothing good ever comes after that hour, not even the kebab. Or perhaps especially not the kebab.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!