Blimey! Looks like you’ve been handed a new timetable from the cosmic postie, and it’s not all doom and gloom. Trust me, it’s not about shuffling your buns to that dreary office anymore, more like shaking your baps in the kitchen. Oh, and don’t forget to get your hands dirty in the garden, too. It’s not just the birds and the bees, darling, but the flowers and the trees that need a bit of love. Or, if you’re feeling a bit Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, get those creative juices flowing and give your old dump a makeover. Trust me, there’s no greater joy than turning your humble abode into a cosy sanctuary � it’s better than any smarmy boss or an annoying office mate, innit? And here’s a cheeky tidbit for you. Your lucky charm for the week is a pink flamingo lawn ornament. I know, I know… tacky as hell, but it’s all in good fun, right? Just remember, it’s not just for keeping the neighbour’s cat off your petunias, but it might also bring you a bit of cosmic luck. If anyone raises an eyebrow, just tell them it’s your lucky charm and watch them turn green with envy.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!