Well, darling, it looks like that wad of cash you’ve been dreaming about for your latest shenanigans is shrinking faster than a cheap jumper in a hot wash. Bit of a let-down, isn’t it? Just like a blind date with someone who’s photo was taken twenty years and three chins ago. But don’t go throwing your toys out of the pram just yet, particularly over your job. Stick with the devil you know; it might be a bit dull but it’s better than finding yourself on the dole queue with nothing but frustration and a dodgy CV. Lucky charm for you? A pair of rabbit’s foot keychains. Because when life’s kicking you in the teeth, it’s always good to know someone else is having a worse day.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!