Blimey, looks like your grand tour has gone tits up, hasn’t it? Got you feeling a bit like a dog with two tails, don’t it? No worries, innit? Just get your arse in gear and reschedule it, pronto! The quicker you do, the less time you’ll spend moping about like a right damp squib. And don’t get your knickers in a twist about work or the sprogs. Your mates and work chums get it – they know you’re not just off for a jolly. So, chin up, love. We’ve all had a cock-up or two. As for your lucky charm: it’s a used tea bag. Yes, you heard me right, a sodding used tea bag. Apparently, it’s supposed to bring you luck or some such bollocks. Just don’t go squeezing it into anyone else’s cuppa, you cheeky git.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!