Crikey, don’t you go spoiling the rosy atmosphere at home, mate. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to have a bloody good laugh when you’re all cooped up together. How, you ask? Well, by giving a wide berth to any topic that could ruffle some feathers. Stay in the here and now, my friend, and don’t you dare go on a nostalgia trip down misery lane. Your lucky charm for the week is a blindfold. Because sometimes, turning a blind eye to all the nonsense around can make life a bit more bearable, in addition to providing a smashing game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!