Well, darling, you’ve been lugging around your mate’s responsibilities like a royal footman carrying the Queen’s handbag. You’ve been playing Florence Nightingale to their personal crises, but you didn’t sign up to be their life’s bloody butler, did you? If it appears they’re treating you like a cheap deck chair, lounging around and not in the slightest hurry to deal with their muck – remind the lazy sods that your back’s not made of steel. It’s high time they got off their arses and picked up their own mess. You’re not their flaming donkey, after all! Your lucky phrase today is “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” Repeat this mantra when you feel like you’re being taken for a ride. And remember, there’s nothing unlucky about setting boundaries, darling – it’s just good bloody sense!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!