Blimey, life’s gone all Rubik’s cube on you, hasn’t it? Those chummy chinwags that used to be as simple as a Sunday roast have turned into a bloody cryptic crossword. Got you scratching your noggin, wondering if you should stick around, haven’t they? Listen mate, you’re not chained to this malarkey. If it’s as appealing as a soggy biscuit, then do one. Now, your lucky charm this week is a used tea bag. I know, sounds about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but hear me out. You never know when you might need a warm drink to spill on an unwanted guest. Or perhaps, you could use it to fake a tan. Just remember, it’s not just for brewing up, it’s a lifestyle choice.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!