Blimey, it’s all going a bit pear-shaped, isn’t it? You’ve settled into a cushy routine, all comfy and cosy, like a cat in a sunbeam. But oh no, here comes life lobbing curveballs at your noggin’ bright and early. It’s enough to make you spit your tea out, isn’t it? But before you go off on one, throwing a wobbler about how your day’s been thrown into a cocked hat, remember this: you’re not the only one getting the rough end of the pineapple. Others are having their biscuits burnt too, so keep your knickers on, alright? Now, lucky charm time: your lucky number is 7. Why? Well, it’s the number of times you’ll have to hit the snooze button before you can face the day. And remember, if all else fails, blame it on the dog. Works every time!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!