If you’re feeling like a bleedin’ lost sheep in a maze of mediocrity, and each blinkin’ day is a carbon copy of the last, it’s high time to stop being a naff plonker and figure out what gets your knickers in a twist. Once you’ve done that, it’s time to get your act together, set up some new targets, and stop faffing about. Getting your ducks in a row to accomplish these goals will put the spring back in your step and make you feel like the dog’s bollocks again. Here’s a bit of insider info for you, love: your lucky charm is a horseshoe, not the cereal, the metal thing from a horse’s foot. Don’t ask me why, I don’t make the rules. Just remember, it’s only considered lucky if it’s the right way up. Otherwise, your luck will run out faster than a pint of beer at a football match.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!