Today, darling, I want you to spill the beans to your clan, your chums and those poor sods at work who have to deal with you daily about your grandiose little schemes. Whether it’s about that delusional dream house of yours or that oh-so-coveted job you desperately desire, let your fantasies frolic free. Revel in the excitement of what’s to come, even if it’s just a figment of your overactive imagination. Once you’ve sorted out your ludicrous aspirations, bloody well go for it, mate! Now, for your lucky charm, I’ve got just the thing. A four-leaf clover! Perfect for those who can’t differentiate between a plan and a pipe dream. And remember, it’s only as lucky as the sod who’s holding it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!