Thanks to a bit of chinwagging behind closed doors, you’re about to stick two fingers up to your business rivals. Love’s about to get as wild as a Friday night in Bognor Regis. Have a natter with your other half and they’ll be gobsmacked by your whimsical words, they might even think you’ve been on the sauce! Your lucky phrase for the day is “sod’s law”, because let’s face it, when you’re having a blinder, it’s always a good idea to remind yourself that it could all go pear-shaped any moment. And a bit of British pessimism never hurt anyone, right? Hilarious!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!