Oi, listen up, you’ve been traipsing around like a bloody butler, always on call, pandering to every Tom, Dick and Harry who needs a shoulder to cry on. It’s about time you stopped playing Mother Teresa, love. A new leaf is being turned over, so get ready to clean up the cobwebs of self-neglect. You’re about to spew out your passion for that droning music and so-called “art” onto some poor unsuspecting soul who’s been lured into your web. You’re relishing in the cre?me de la cre?me of life like a pig in muck. And for your lucky charm, try a four-leaf clover; it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but who knows, it might help you score that art-loving, music-tolerating soulmate you’re after.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!