Just a heads up, you old codger, that dusty relic of a talent you’ve been harbouring in the attic of your mind is about to come in handy. Those bigwigs at work are shaking things up a bit, and you’re going to cash in on it like a granny at bingo night. But listen here, don’t go jumping the gun like a randy rabbit in springtime. Make sure you’ve got your facts straight or you’ll end up looking like a right mug. And for goodness sake, take a breather if you need to! Get yourself down to the spa and let them pamper you – just don’t get too excited and scare the masseuse. And here’s a little lucky charm for you. Say ‘Rub me for good luck’ to the first person you see after reading this. You might get a slap, but at least you’ll have a laugh!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!