You’re kicking off the day with all the organisation of a military parade, then by teatime, it’s all gone tits up. Like a drag queen’s make-up in a heatwave. You’ve got folks offering advice on a DIY project, and bless ’em, they mean well but they’re as useful as a chocolate fireguard. You appreciate their emotional support, but let’s be honest, you’d swap their words of wisdom for a decent hammer and a few nails quicker than a vegan at a butcher’s. Now, for your lucky bit: Your lucky number is 3. No, I’m not taking the piss. Three’s a lucky number. You know what they say, “third time’s a charm”. Or in your case, “third time’s a chance to cock it up again, but with more flair”.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!