Cor blimey, mate! If you’re after a leg up on the old career ladder, you’ve got to get a few more letters after your name. Not the kind you get from the debt collectors, mind you! Get your noggin stuck into some books, broaden that brain of yours beyond knowing the footie scores and the best place for a kebab. You’ll have the bigwigs eating out of your hand in no time. And speaking of bigwigs, there’s a fossil in the office who’s been eyeing you up – not in a ‘let’s get a room’ kind of way, more like they’re sussing out if you’re worth your salt or just another fresh-faced muppet. They’re starting to see you’ve got the chops to roll with the punches and they’re liking what they see. Now, your lucky phrase for the week is ‘Bob’s your uncle’. Use it liberally, preferably when something goes right for a change. And if anyone asks why, tell them it’s because Bob is indeed your uncle, and he owes you a tenner. Don’t forget to chuckle mysteriously while you walk away.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!