Here’s your bloody ‘scope, mate. Before you flap your gums, engage the old grey matter, will ya? Bollocks to blunders, that’s the ticket. Now, at the office, keep your peepers peeled. If one of those work chums of yours tries to pull a fast one, don’t rise to the bait like a randy tomcat, alright? Now, hold onto your knickers because – shocker! – you’re going to have a lightbulb moment and conjure up a cracker of an idea. You? Thinking? It’s like a bloody Christmas miracle. Lucky charm for you, mate? Here’s a tip, how ’bout a muzzle? Might be your only chance of not sticking your foot in it. And it’ll do us all a favour too!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!