Cor blimey, mate, it seems the stars are having a right old giggle at your expense this week! Just in the nick of time, some bloke or bird will pop up offering to lend a hand – all kosher, no funny business, so don’t toss their offer in the bin like a dodgy kebab, alright? Be quick on the draw, respond sharpish before they bugger off to rescue another lost soul. Then, just as you’re about to put your John Hancock on some deal, it’ll be yanked away faster than a pint from a teetotaler at a pub! The universe is throwing you curveballs like a pissed off cricketer, but remember, it’s all a bit of a laugh, ain’t it? Your lucky phrase for the week is, “Blessing in disguise.” Because let’s face it, even if that deal was as enticing as a fresh pot of tea after a night on the lash, it was probably as trustworthy as a fox in the henhouse. But remember, keep your sense of humour about you – it’s more important than your brolly in this London drizzle!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!