Battling with the jobsworths is going to be a right pain in the arse, mate. You’re either itching for a barney or some nitwit’s got it in their bonce to come moan at you. Best not spout off anything you’ll want to shove back down your gob later. Take a big gulp of air and count to ten before you open your trap. There’s a few twitchy knickers about today, so watch it. Now, here’s a bit of luck for you. Your lucky colour is blue, so wrap yourself in it like a Smurf on a bender. Might help you dodge today’s bullets, or at least give you an excuse when you say, “I was feeling a bit blue, officer!”

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!