Your ideas are as shocking as a streaker at the Queen’s garden party. And what’s more, they have the potential to leave people as gobsmacked as a vicar in a brothel. But don’t let the naysayers get your knickers in a twist. Have a bit of the old bulldog spirit, stick to your guns, and you’ll attract a mob of admirers bigger than the queue for the last round at the pub. Before you know it, those cheeky sods who were taking the mickey will be singing your praises, probably whilst wearing a shocked expression that could curdle milk. As for your lucky charm, it’s a rubber duck. Yes, you heard it right, a bleeding rubber duck. Why? Because much like you, it floats along not giving a duck about the chaos around it. Now, isn’t that just quackers?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!