It looks like you’re about to be lumbered with your workmate’s to-do list while they’re off playing hooky with the ‘flu’. It’ll be a right royal pain in the arse at first, but chin up! You’ll soon be picking up new tricks of the trade faster than a dog nicks sausages off a butcher’s counter. Before you know it, you’ll be so bloody indispensable, you’ll be able to cheekily demand a pay rise without blinking an eyelid. Lucky phrase for the day: ‘Every cloud has a sterling silver lining’. And remember, if you’re caught nicking stationery to compensate for the extra workload, just say you thought it was part of your new ‘expanded role’. It’s not theft, it’s a redistribution of company resources, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!