Oi, mate! You’re about to have your noggin tickled by a mate or some poor sod from work, nattering on about god, Boris, or the bloody Tudors. You might not end up agreeing, but who cares? You’ll be entertained by their codswallop theories. Let’s face it, there’s more to your brainbox than what you let on – you’re a deep thinker, aren’t you? You’re not just a pretty face. Now, here’s a lucky charm for you – a shiny penny. Don’t spend it all at once, darling! After all, it could turn your day from a dog’s breakfast to a right royal knees-up.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!