Today’s going to be about as challenging as a Sunday roast at your mother-in-law’s – and we all know how that usually turns out. You’re going to find yourself in a bit of a pickle with a certain someone and it’s up to you to sort it out. Think of it as a game of Twister: awkward, uncomfortable and you’re bound to end up in a compromising position. But remember, darling, just like a stubborn wine cork, you’ve got the tenacity to screw your way to your deepest, darkest desires. And a little birdie told me – your lucky charm today is a rusty horseshoe. Yeah, I know it sounds about as appealing as a cold cup of tea, but trust me, it’s got more luck than a two-pound scratch card. Just remember to keep it away from your knickers – tetanus ain’t a good look, sweetheart!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!