Noticed that your other half or mate can’t stand your hobby of peeling potatoes in the nude while singing Spice Girls songs at the top of your lungs? Well, stop your whingeing and just let them do their own thing, you ninny! Who knows, they might be off origami-ing toilet paper or collecting toenail clippings. As long as it’s not illegal or involves your neighbour’s dog, let them have at it! This way, you still get to keep your relationship intact, just like your precious potato skins, and they get to keep their sanity. So it’s a win-win, ain’t it, you absolute bellend? Now, for your lucky bit: Your lucky number is 3. The same number of brain cells you seem to have left. Cherish them, you’ll need them for all your potato peeling shenanigans!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!