Blimey, you’re off like a greyhound chasing a mechanical rabbit, ain’t ya? Slogging your guts out for some lofty goal you’ve set that’s as achievable as a pint at last orders. Truth be told, it’s about as easy as licking your own elbow. But don’t worry, once you’ve finally reached that pie-in-the-sky target of yours, you’ll have all the time in the world to kick back, slack off and start behaving like a normal human being again. At that point, you can focus on expanding your social circle – or, as I prefer to call it, your ‘collection of acquaintances you pretend to care about’. This includes the professional lot (those stuffed shirts you begrudgingly network with at corporate shindigs) and your so-called friends, who are probably only hanging about in hopes you’ll pick up the next round. Lucky charm: A rubber chicken. Because let’s face it, you’re gonna need a good laugh after all this. And who knows, it might even help you break the ice at those stuffy networking events. Just remember, if anyone asks why you’ve got it, tell them it’s your emotional support chicken.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!