If it isn’t you, bobbing along in life, as clueless as a goldfish in a blender. Seems like a recent hiccup, or a newbie chum, is going to give you a nudge in the right direction. You’ve got a talent hidden somewhere, probably between your inability to use a washing machine and your unusual affection for daytime television. Don’t be such a muppet and ignore what others are yammering on about. Their blathering might just have a gem or two hidden in it, though it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, or a salad in your fridge. As for your lucky charm, it’s a box of cornflakes. I know, not exactly a four-leaf clover, is it? But hey, it’s about as much luck as you’re likely to get. And the best part? You can eat your luck for breakfast. You’re welcome.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!