You’re mad as a box of frogs because some nincompoop is pointing the old finger of blame at you for a royal cock-up that isn’t even your doing. Do us a favour, don’t go all Jack the Lad or you might turn a potential mate into a right old enemy. This bloke’s got his knickers in a twist just like you, so put a sock in it and chew over your words before you spew them out, you muppet! Your lucky phrase today is “bob’s your uncle” – use it a bit liberally, and who knows, you might just find out Bob actually is your uncle. Now wouldn’t that be a right old knees-up?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!