Alright, listen up, eager beavers ready to dive headfirst into new cockamamie schemes, put a cork in it and have a bit of a breather, love. It’s time to park your enthusiasm, brew up a cuppa, and give a bit of thought to the potential price tag and all the boring minutiae. Being a stickler for detail now might seem like a right pain in the arse, but trust me, later on, you’ll be chuffed to bits with the results. And when the time comes and you’re basking in the glory of success, remember, the endless thank you notes and cheek kisses are because you weren’t a total numpty at the start. Now, here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you: your lucky phrase is “Keep Calm and Carry On.” I know, it’s as British as a bulldog wearing a Union Jack waistcoat, but saying it is like having a four-leaf clover up your arse. It’s luckier than a horseshoe made from rabbit feet and covered in four-leaf clovers. Just remember, if you do happen to find a four-leaf clover up your arse, you’ve probably been sitting in the wrong field.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!