It might feel like you’re attempting to squeeze your backside into a pair of trousers two sizes too small, but try not to let those pesky household costs get your knickers in a twist. You might be pondering over some tweaks to your daily routine like it’s the bloody Enigma Code, but keep your wig on! Your current irritation will soon flip faster than a pancake on Shrove Tuesday when some cheeky sod you live with backs your madcap notions to up sticks, give your job the old heave-ho or turn your health habits on their head like some sort of sanctimonious yoga guru. Now, for a lucky phrase: “Every cloud has a silver lining, but it doesn’t mean it’s made out of sterling silver, you pillock!” Keep that chucklesome nugget in your pocket, love, it might just save your bacon one day.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!