You’ve been going through the wringer lately, haven’t ya? You’ve been bobbing about like a cork in a bathtub, and you’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer in a china shop. Your life’s changing faster than a chameleon on a rainbow, and it’s got you jittery like a cat on a hot tin roof. But don’t worry, darling, it’s all part of your evolution. You’re shedding your old skin and aiming for the stars, hopefully not landing on the moon, if you catch my drift. You’re going after the real deal, not those half-baked, soggy relationships you’ve been settling for. In other words, you’re trading your Fiat for a Rolls Royce, if you know what I mean. Lucky charm: A horseshoe, but for heaven’s sake, don’t wear it around your neck, you’ll look like a right plonker. It’s supposed to bring you good luck, not a hunched back, darling!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!