Crikey, your home life’s about as stable as a three-legged table at a hipster cafe. Your housemate’s all over the place, like a chameleon on a Smarties packet. Give ’em a minute to untangle their knickers from their emotions, and they’ll let slip some news that’ll have you gawping like a fish out of water. Brace yourself for an unexpected knock on the door tonight – some mysterious guest will barge in, chucking your well-laid plans out the window like yesterday’s chip paper. Your lucky charm? A packet of digestives. Don’t scoff – you’ll need the crumbs of comfort when your evening goes tits up!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!