You’re so bloody chipper today, it’s like you’ve swallowed a rainbow! You’re so up and at ’em, I reckon even a marathon on stilts wouldn’t faze you. Whatever harebrained scheme you cook up today, it’s bound to go tits up in the best possible way. If you’re in the biz of brainwashing, luvvie larking, selling ice to Eskimos or scribbling out the next 50 Shades, today’s your day, sunshine! As for the natter with your sibs, it’ll be a right knees-up. Just remember, if they start getting on your wick, they’re the same blood – so you’re officially allowed to be a total plonker back. Lucky charm: A rubber chicken. It’ll remind you not to take life too seriously, plus it doubles as an excellent weapon to wallop anyone who’s doing your head in. And remember, if anyone asks why you’re carrying a rubber chicken, just tell ’em it’s your new emotional support animal!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!