Blimey, you’re feeling as lively as a sloth on sedatives, aren’t you? Well, don’t let that stop you, sweetheart. The world ain’t gonna wait for you to stop moping around like a lovesick teenager. You’ve got things to do, places to be, and people to offend. But hey, maybe a quick tea break will sort you out. Just don’t take too long, we wouldn’t want you to actually fall asleep and start snoring like a warthog on a sugar rush, now would we? Now, here’s your lucky charm: A biscuit. Yes, a biscuit. There ain’t nothing that can’t be solved with a good old fashion biscuit and a cuppa. But remember, it’s for dunking not for chucking at the telly when your favourite show gets cancelled.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!