Blimey, you’re gonna be gabbing like a fishwife on speed today, ain’t ya? You’ll be having more crossed words than a tabloid crossword puzzle, but you’ve got the knack for smoothing ruffled feathers, so no worries there, Sherlock. But later, you might want to pull your head out of everyone else’s business and shove it back up your own backside. There’s a whole to-do list of things you’ve been conveniently ignoring, ain’t there? Lucky item for you today is a teapot. Yes, you heard me right, a bloody teapot! It’ll keep your mouth busy with chit-chat and your hands away from any mischief. Plus, you can make a nice brew when you finally get sick of your own voice!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!