Well, darling, it seems your personal affairs are about to cock up your social shindigs like a pissed-off peacock at a penguin party. If your social shenanigans are as exciting as a narcoleptic sloth, you’ll still find a smidge of joy with a couple of your less annoying chums. Expect a neighbour to stick their nose in your family business, probably the nosy parker has nothing better to do. Now, here’s a lucky charm for you – a four-leaf clover. You might as well stick it in your pants, could be the only action you’re getting this week, you old fart!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!