Right, listen up, you might stumble into some poor sod who could potentially throw a golden bone your way. Now, this chance meeting will likely have you contemplating life’s unsung mysteries � like why on earth biscuits always fall tea-side down, or why socks in the dryer pull a bloody Houdini. Keep your peepers on the prize, and try not to cock it all up by navel-gazing � it’s not as if you’ve got anything interesting going on in your own noggin, now is it? Now, your lucky charm this week is a half-eaten crumpet. Don’t ask why, just roll with it. Remember, it’s only as ridiculous as your life choices up to this point.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!