Blimey, you’ve got more issues than Vogue, ducky! Some of them are stickier than a sweet shop floor in a heatwave and they’re taking their sweet time to bugger off. It’s getting on your wick and making you as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. You need to find a way to chill your beans, pronto. You might find that your gaff is the best place to unwind. There’s nothing quite like kicking off your shoes and settling in with a cuppa or something stronger, depending on how your day’s been. Just remember though, life isn’t all about lounging in your slippers. Try to keep things balanced or you’ll turn into a couch potato. And let’s face it, you’re already more spud than stud, aren’t you? By the way, your lucky charm is a potato. Ironic, I know. It’s hardly a four-leaf clover but it’s what you’re getting. Carry it around, make it a jacket potato if you fancy. Just don’t let it sprout or you’ll look like you’re toting around an alien life form. And trust me, you’re strange enough as it is.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!