Oh darling, you’re gagging for a bit of shush, aren’t you? You’re putting in more elbow grease than a chain-smoking chimney sweep just to catch a bloomin’ breather. You’re so keen on keeping your trap shut that you’d practically avoid a pub quiz for fear of a heated debate over who the real Queen of England is (It’s Elton John, by the way). And don’t get your knickers in a twist because some nitwit reckons you’re missing out on the party by lurking in the shadows like a vampire with social anxiety. You’re as bothered about their opinion as a vegan at a butcher’s convention. Lucky tidbit for you: Your lucky number is 13. Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be unlucky, but let’s face it, with your luck, a black cat crossing your path is probably just looking for a bit of company. So go on, embrace the unexpected. You’re about as likely to win the lottery as a one-legged man in a bottom-kicking contest, but hey, you never know!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!