Blimey, you’re flipping your moods faster than a dodgy dealer sells knock-off watches! You’re causing more confusion than a posh bloke at a pie and mash shop. It’s harder to keep your partnerships steady than it is to balance a pint on a cocker spaniel’s head with your emotions changing quicker than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. You need a partner more patient than a saint in a traffic jam, one who can decode your emotional enigma faster than Benedict Cumberbatch on a Sherlock binge. Lucky charm for you? Try a rubber duck. Because with your mood swings, you’re going to need something that can stay afloat. Cheeky tip: Try not to use it as a projectile in your next mood swing.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!