Your tribe or roomies seem to have misplaced their bleedin’ map to common ground, making your gaff feel more like a shambolic remake of ‘Saving Private Ryan’. The real kicker is when you cop a gander at some bloke showing a side of themselves that’d make Jekyll and Hyde look like flippin’ Sesame Street characters. Their hostility has you feeling like you’ve accidentally wandered into a lions’ den wearing a steak suit. As for your lucky charm, it’s a horseshoe. Not for any luck-related nonsense, but because you might need to knock some sense into your housemates’ thick skulls.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!