Alright, mate, let’s get this show on the road. You know that yapping you’ve been doing? Well, keep it up, it’s bloody crucial in all your romances. Be as transparent as a freshly Windexed window from the off, and you’ll dodge a lot of bollocks down the line. Keep your noggin clear, no pints before noon, and you’ll see how your daft schemes could sprout legs and get you somewhere. Might even give you a chance to chase some fresh, juicy prospects that’ll last longer than your last diet. Your lucky phrase is “Clear as a bell”, but remember, love, only bells that aren’t cracked are clear, so keep your head sorted and maybe you’ll avoid a right cock-up.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!