“Blimey, ain’t you turned into Sherlock Holmes, sniffing out the root of the kerfuffle at your gaff, only to find out you’ve got a bigger pile of codswallop to wade through. Are you really going to sit there, moping about your cock-ups like a wet weekend in Skegness? Why not pull your socks up, put on your big boy/girl knickers and crack on? Stop mithering about the past, it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Instead, focus on the future, there’s always a chance to polish a turd if you stop staring at your rearview mirror and start looking at the road ahead.” Lucky Tip: “They say a bird pooing on your head is good luck. So, next time you cop a load from a seagull, remember, it could be your lucky day. Just be sure to wear a hat!”

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!