Well, darling, you might fancy floating off into some whimsical daydream, but trust me, the bloody drudgery of real life is going to yank you back quicker than a cheap wig on a windy day. If you’re finding your to-do list more tangled than a hooker’s hair extensions, stop bottling it up like a repressed Victorian era maiden. Today, it’s all about getting touchy-feely and spilling your guts to everyone. It might be as appealing as sharing a bed with the Hunchback of Notre Dame, but hey, it’s therapy on the cheap! Lucky tip for the day: If you’re wearing anything pink, you’re practically a walking good luck charm. Just remember, darling, too much of a good thing is wonderful, but too much pink and you’ll look like a flamingo who’s had a rough night out.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!