Blimey, mate! You’ve got to get off your arse and mingle a bit, you old recluse. There’s a big decision in the pipeline, and for once, no one’s going to stick you on the sidelines like a soggy crumpet. In fact, these lot are practically begging for your two bob’s worth. So, pull up your socks and make a choice, you dithering ninny! And here’s your lucky charm: A horseshoe. But remember, it’s only lucky if it’s the right way up; otherwise, all the luck runs out faster than your commitment to dieting.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!