Regardless of what the rest of the muppets are up to, you’re in desperate need of a bit of ‘me time’, darlin’. Trot off to those dodgy dives nobody else knows about, and you’ll find the tranquillity you’re gagging for. Got a few bits and bobs to sort out? Stick to your own to-do list, and don’t let the other numpties distract you from your mission. Lucky Charm: A four-leaf clover. Not that it’ll help with your rotten luck, but at least it’s a green thing you can wave about when the going gets tough.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!