Oi, brace yourself for a right knees-up that’s bound to be more fun than a barrel of monkeys on Red Bull. Over the next fortnight, you’ll be itching to park your bum more on your choicest pastimes than on your sofa. Be it footie matches, polo games or a game of conkers, you’re in for a riot. Snaffle up some seats at the theatre, but remember, those actors can hear your snoring. Prolong those lunches until you’re rolling out the restaurant door, and scheme up some thrilling days with the ankle-biters that don’t involve playing ‘pin the blame on the sibling.’ And here’s your lucky charm: A four-leaf clover! But remember, if it’s got three leaves, that ain’t luck, mate, that’s just a weed.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!