Blimey, you’re going through the wringer, ain’t ya? Straining more than a cheap pair of knickers on a sumo wrestler, all while you’re trying to reach them lofty dreams of yours. And it’s all ’cause of the dosh problems, ain’t it? You’re skint! Broke as Big Ben at midnight. You’re going to need to get all Picasso with your thinking, darling. Be as innovative as a bloke with a comb-over in a gale. And don’t you dare be too proud to ask your trustworthy mate or kin for a bit of guidance. They said two heads are better than one, but in your case, a half might do. Now, here’s your lucky charm – a golden horseshoe. Hang it over your door, love. It might not help with the money problems, but at least you’ll have something shiny to look at while you’re crying over your bank statements.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!