Before you start jumping to conclusions and wagging your finger at someone for being as mad as a box of frogs, put a sock in it, won’t you? You might be gobsmacked to find that their ideas are actually the bee’s knees. It’s high time you knocked those crusty old habits on the head and embraced the 21st century, you old fart. And here’s a little ditty for you: “A lucky penny in your shoe, makes the day less of a poo.” So, stick a penny in your brogues, it can’t make things any worse, can it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!