Blimey, once your chum or blood kin finally pulls their head out their arse and starts making decisions that doesn’t resemble a drunk chook’s attempt at a crossword, you can finally stop sweating bullets for ’em. If they’re still dithering around like a cat in a rocking chair shop, why not stick your oar in and give ’em a nudge towards a decision that might finally stop their life resembling a dog’s dinner? Lucky charm: A horseshoe. But, be careful not to drop it on your foot – it’ll hurt like hell and may even leave you hopping around like a one-legged man at a bum kicking contest.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!